


Insurance

by winstonlives



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Humor, Love, M/M, Porn, Sex, Sex Tapes, Shameless Smut, phil has an idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 15:30:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10834125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winstonlives/pseuds/winstonlives
Summary: Phil has an idea for a kind of safety net. He is quite the business man you know...





	Insurance

**Author's Note:**

> this is totally just shameless smut, with some humor thrown in for good measure.

“Danny!” 

“What?” Dan called back from the lounge. 

“Come in here I have it all ready.” 

“What do you have ready?” Dan asked as he came around the corner and into the bedroom. 

“This.” Phil said opening his arms, as if modeling a car. He was standing in front of the bed. 

“You made the bed, and had to show me?” Dan said, unamused and turned to leave again. 

“No, I made the bed...but for a purpose.” Phil said, taking Dan’s hand, stopping his progress out the door. 

“What would that be?”

“Insurance.” 

“Why would the insurance man care about how our bed is made?” 

“Not literal insurance...just, I guess you could call it a backup plan.”

Dan narrowed his eyes, “A backup plan for what?” 

“Okay just hear me out. This is a ‘just in case of emergency’ scenario.”

“What is? What do you have planned?” Dan said sitting on the end of the bed. “Why is the camera in here? Thought we established we aren’t filming in here this time.”

“Okay, so I’ve been thinking...what if we drop in popularity? Or just, you know, want to retire, move to the country and still be able to live as we are now? How would we be able to do that?” 

“Phil, I am pretty sure we’re going to be okay for quite a while, and we have been saving money for forever.” 

“I know that. This is a just in case we run out or whatever. A safety net…”

“What is?”

“Okay, now just listen before you freak out, okay?” 

“Phil…?” Dan said, looking suspiciously at him and the camera. 

“Just… you know think about it.”

“What am I supposed to think about?” 

“Okay so you know how some celebrities are celebrities just because they made a sex tape and then it blew..”

“A sex tape?!” Dan shouted, standing up and walking to the doorway. “Nope, I’m not even… “ He walked out of the room and down the hall muttering to himself. 

“Just listen to me okay…” Phil said trotting behind him. “We film it. We have one copy, we put it in a lock box at the bank, and have it so only the two of us together can get it. If one of us dies or whatever...it will be destroyed. No one would see it, unless we decided together to release it.” 

Dan stood, his arms over his chest lips pursed, “How...how could we make sure…” He shook himself, “No...nope...not going to happen Phil. If you want one so bad, make it a solo venture.” 

“That wouldn’t work.” Phil shook his head, “The big thing about it would be that you and I are having sex, not me masterbating. For all they know we both just wack off constantly since we’ve been single for seven or eight years.” 

“I still think a video of precious angel bean Phil Lester, having some alone time could bring in a pretty penny…” Dan shrugged, and continued down the hall to the kitchen, “Just think of it...give a real good show Phil, on all fours showing them all the goods before you fuck yourself for the camera.” 

“Gross.” Phil said shuttering. “If we did it we could even edit it, we could at least make it good, tasteful even.” 

“Tasteful?” Dan snorted. “Phil it’s a sex tape. How tasteful could it be?”

“It could at least be nice and loving. Not all kinky and or poorly filmed.” 

“Wait a second…”Dan turned, smirking at Phil.

“What?” 

“I think you just want to have a sex tape of us.”

“I..no I don’t.” Phil said indignantly

“Ha, yes you do! Oh my god, you kinky ho!” 

“Shut up. I just thought it would be a good idea. A way for us to have a safety net for just in case.” Phil huffed and stomped out of the room. “I hate you!” 

Dan chuckled as he opened the fridge and took out something to drink. He walked into the lounge where Phil was sitting on the sofa pouting, and angrily turning the channel. He sat next to him, and took the remote. “Okay.” 

“Okay, what?” Phil said, taking the remote back. 

“Okay. Fine. If you want to, we’ll make one. First we have to have the safety deposit box and the paperwork written for us to do this. I don’t want there to be any chance it gets out. Also in this little scenario...are going to sell it, or are we going to leak it in hopes of renewed popularity?” 

“Oh this is a definite sell out. If we have a leaked sex tape it is definitely going to be sold. We are for sure making a lot of money on it if it gets out. We aren’t taking a chance on possible renewed popularity. I really think of it as our retirement fund. I mean we’re still going to be saving like we have been, and investing. This is just another part of where our money comes from.” Phil said perking up as he described his idea further. “Also I already have the paperwork, and the lockbox at the bank.” He stood up and went to the desk at the end of the room. He returned with some a piece of paper and a key. I also bought a specific memory card for this. So we’re set. Whenever you’re ready.”

Dan looked up at him, “You really do want a sex tape.” He laughed. “Ok Phil, give me a pen and we’ll sign this, then make our porn debut.” 

“Don’t call it that…” Phil whined. “Insurance sounds so much better.”

“Phil it’s porn.” Dan said, as he stood up. “Come on. Do you need a fluffer or are you good to go?” 

“What’s a fluffer?” Phil asked as he signed the paper.

“I don’t think you're ready for porn if you don’t know what a fluffer is.” Dan smirked and took the pen from Phil.

“Wait is it someone who like gets it ready.” He said making a wanking motion in the air.

“You got it buster.” Dan laughed, and put the pen on the table. “So… you ready?” 

“If you are.” Phil smiled. 

“Well fine I guess we’re doing this then…” Dan said, walking towards the bedroom. “Are we starting naked or are we going to get undressed while we film?”

“I think we should keep it realistic.” Phil said following him down the hall, don’t you?” 

“Whatever Phil. This whole thing is your idea, thought you would have thought about the mechanics of it.” 

“I didn’t get that far I guess.” Phil shrugged. 

They walked into the bedroom, Dan sat on the bed as Phil walked over to the camera and turned it on. “Ready?”

“Don’t you mean ‘action’?” Dan chuckled as he watched Phil come towards the bed. Phil rolled his eyes and climbed on the bed. He lay next to Dan. “What are you doing?”

“Well...I’m not sure how to start.” Phil sighed looking up at Dan. 

“Well kissing is always a good place, don’t you think?” Dan said looking down at Phil and winked. “Come up here you idiot and kiss me.” 

Phil sat up, then leaned in and pecked Dan on the lips. He pulled back far enough to see Dan’s face clearly. “I feel weird knowing the camera is on recording this.” 

“No shit.” Dan said. “We could stop if you want. We don’t have to do this.” 

“I know we don’t have to...but I think we should.” 

“Mmmm.” Dan leaned forward and moaned in his ear. “Phil, want you to fuck me, please.” He whispered. “I want you to fill me up with that beautiful big cock of yours.” 

“What are you doing?” Phil said sitting back and looking at Dan. 

“Dirty talk. Thought it might help get you in the mood.” 

“Oh…” Phil smirked. “Well then I guess continue, let’s see if it does.” 

Dan leaned forward again, this time kissing Phil on the mouth, his fingers moving up to comb through his hair. They kissed more, eventually Dan opened his mouth enough for Phil to slide his tongue in. Dan moaned into the kiss, as he moved to straddle Phil and wrapped his arms around his neck. He moved his mouth closer to Phil’s ear as he started to rock his hips into him. “Want you to fuck me. Fill me up. You’re so fucking hot like this…” 

Phil rocked his hips up to create the friction he wanted, “You’re a good fluffer. If porn doesn’t work out for you, it’s a good career alternative.” 

Dan laughed, then sucked Phil’s earlobe into his mouth and nipped at it lightly. “Good to know I have options.” He slid his hand under Phil’s shirt as he kissed the skin below his ear. “Your skin is so warm, I just want to lick it.” He did as he said, and licked a stripe up Phil’s neck, as he moved his hand under the waistband of his jeans, to squeeze Phil’s ass. “Are we going to flip? I want you in me, but I want some of this ass too.” 

Phil groaned at the idea. It wasn’t very often they flipped, but when they did it always made him cum harder. “Mmm please.” With that Dan twisted them so he could pin Phil to the bed, grinding his hips down into Phil. 

“Shirt off…” Dan said as he pulled his own over his head. As soon as they were both bare from the waist up he captured Phil’s mouth with his and pressed their bodies together, relishing the feel of his warm skin pressed into his own. “Mmm feel so good against me. Can’t wait until you’re in me.” He breathed as he moved his lips to Phil’s neck. He let his hands explored under Phil’s jeans and boxers, squeezing the mounds as he ground his hips down into Phil. 

“Fuck, want you naked.” Phil said, after a particularly strong thrust. His hands moved to undo Dan’s pants, and they parted long enough to divest themselves of their remaining clothes. Once naked Dan lay on his back and watched as Phil finished pulling off his mismatched socks. Phil climbed back on the bed and hovered over Dan, pressing light kisses to his chest and neck. His legs were between Dan’s thighs, and his cock strained low and heavy above Dan’s. He moved his hips down so they just barely brushed against each other before he moved away, making Dan moan his annoyance. 

“Touch me Phil. Need to feel you pressed against me.” Phil stopped kissing him then, and pulled back looking down at him. “What are you doing? Want you…” Dan said again and bucked his hips to try and touch Phil. Phil smirked as Dan whined in frustration. He leaned down to suck at Dan’s neck, just at the juncture where neck meets shoulder, causing Dan to cry out. “Fuck me please Phil, stop teasing me.” 

“So beautiful when you beg for me.” Phil whispered. “Love it when you get like this, all desperate for me to touch you.” Phil pulled back again, and ran a hand lightly down Dan’s body from his collarbone to his lower stomach, but stopped just above his cock. “Want me to suck that cock of yours into my hot wet mouth?” Phil asked, making Dan groan and buck his hips again. He leaned down and began to press kisses down Dan’s body, his hand coming up to cup around the base of his cock, Dan let out a sigh of relief from finally being touched. Phil pressed a kiss to the skin at the base, then moved his lips down his thigh. Dan whimpered, as he realized Phil was not going to take him in his mouth, but continue to tease. Phil sucked the skin of his upper thigh, then moved to the other leg, sticking his tongue out in order to taste the salty skin there. Phil looked up at Dan, letting his hand move away from his penis, and over to his hip. Dan’s cock fell to rest against his stomach, a bead of precum dripped onto his skin. Phil kissed up his thigh and finally came to the juncture of his legs. He licked the skin at the base, and tongued his balls, still ignoring his cock. 

“Phil, please! I need you to…” Phil grasped his cock, and licked the underside of it. Then he pulled himself up to lick the spot of salty-sweet precum off of Dan’s tummy before he licked the tip of his cock. He licked his lips, as he made eye contact with Dan. Then dug the tip of his tongue into the slit to chase the flavor there too.

“Taste so good… always do.” He said, as he licked the head of Dan’s cock like it was an icecream cone. “So good for me.” He finally wrapped his lips softly around the crown making Dan sigh with relief. His hand around the base to support it, Phil licked around the shaft to get it wet, before taking it in his mouth as far as he could. He bobbed his head a few times, before pulling off, “Fuck my mouth.” He said then quickly sucked it back in. Dan bucked his hips, as Phil bobbed his head, letting Dan go in farther and farther until he was hitting the back of his throat. Phil hummed and moaned around him, as Dan bucked harder and harder. Finally Phil pulled off, gasping for breath, “Want to eat your ass.” He said then pushed Dan’s legs up and over so his knees were pressed to his chest. Phil now face to face with Dan’s ass, pressed a kiss to each cheek before he ran his tongue along the crease. He kissed, and sucked, and licked at Dan’s hole before he pressed in a fingertip. Dan was moaning and swearing above him, while stroking at his cock at the same time Phil’s tongue worked him over. 

“Fuck me Phil...need you to fuck me. Please...fill me up… want you so bad.”

Phil pressed in another finger, this time crooking them, and Dan jolted as Phil pressed against his prostate “Like that?” Phil smirked as he twisted his fingers again. 

“Keep that up and you’ll make me cum. Fuck me now god damnit.” Dan said hoarsely. Phil smirked then pulled his fingers free, in order to move forward and take Dan’s mouth with his. He reached under the pillows and found the lube he had stashed there earlier in preparation. He spread some on his cock and some on Dan. He sat back on his knees as smacked the head of his thick cock against Dan’s entrance a few times before he pressed in slowly. “Fuck…feel so good Phil.” Dan groaned throwing his head back against the pillows. 

Phil bottomed out and waited a few seconds before pulling back, then slammed into him. He took Dan’s hands and pinned them to the bed as he fucked into him. Dan’s moans mixing with the sound of skin slapping skin. He leaned down to kiss him, and suck on his neck as he pumped his hips in a smooth even tempo. “Going to make me cum...Want to fuck you...” Dan said, so desperate, full sentences were impossible. 

Phil pulled out then, leaning down to kiss Dan on the mouth. Dan flipped them, so he was pressing Phil’s back to the mattress. He kissed his way down Phil’s body, before he flipped him again, and pulling him back so his ass was in the air. “Mmmm this ass.” Dan said and bit a cheek, before licking the crease. He teased Phil’s entrance with his tongue until Phil was pressing back. Phil’s face was buried in the pillow, muffling the whines and moans that escaped. “Love the sounds you make when I eat your ass.” Dan said between licks and sucks. He finally slid a finger in as he licked around the hole. Phil pressed back taking the digit in as far as it would go. 

Phil turned his face to pant, “Want more Dan. More…” Dan pressed in another finger, twisting and crooking them until Phil’s breath caught, letting him know he hit the spot. Dan smiled, and scissored his fingers stretching Phil enough to sneak the tip of his tongue in along with his fingers. “Fuck babe…” Phil moaned at the sensation. 

“Good Philly, you ready?” 

“God yes.” Phil sighed, almost relieved to hear Dan was actually going to fuck him. Dan picked up the lube and spread a healthy amount over his straining cock, and some over Phil. He lined up and pressed in slowly. 

“God, you’re tight.” Dan breathed. He pressed forward, until Phil became impatient and pushed back, taking Dan in the rest of the way. “Fuck...so tight...so hot” Dan said, and pressed kisses between Phil’s shoulder blades. He moved his hips back and thrust forward slowly again. He did so over and over, until Phil pressed back to meet him halfway. Phil sat up on his knees and Dan wrapped his arms around his chest as he pumped his hips into him. Dan brought a hand up to cup his cheek and turn Phil’s head so they could kiss, as he fucked up into him.Finally he picked up the pace and slid a hand down to jack Phil at the same pace as his thrusts. Phil fell forward onto his hands. He arched his back as Dan pounded harder and harder into him. 

“Dan, gonna make me cum...fuck so good…” 

“Want you to fuck me again.” Dan said and pulled out swiftly, making Phil whine at the sudden loss. 

“Ride me.” Phil said and lay on his back his legs pointed towards the camera. Dan straddled him, facing the same direction. Dan bounced on his cock, his own smacking his lower stomach each time he dropped down taking Phil in farther. Phil’s hands cupped his ass, stilling his movement so he could buck up into him. Dan reached down to stroke himself as he lay back over Phil. 

“Fuck Phil, so close….you’re getting me so close.” Dan panted, as Phil’s hips slammed up into him over and over. 

“Cum for me babe. Want you to cum, want you to feel good…” Phil said, as he pumped his hips faster. Dan tensed around him as his climax came, slowing his thrusts as Dan squeezed him with his orgasm.

“Fuck…” Dan groaned as he came, white ropes of cum shooting up his stomach and chest. Phil pumped his hips a couple more times before he pulled out and jacked himself to finish, cum spilling down his cock before he slid back into Dan. He thrust a couple more times, and his legs shook from the intensity of his orgasm. Dan panted above him, before he moved off and to the side so they could kiss. “Love you.” Dan whispered between kisses. 

“Mmm love you too, babe.” Phil said, still trying to catch his breath. “That was incredible.” 

“It was.” Dan smiled. “Maybe we missed our calling, and should have just gone into porn instead of YouTube.” He laughed and let his head drop onto Phil’s shoulder. He pressed a kiss to the milky white skin there and closed his eyes. 

“Maybe.” Phil smirked and kissed the top of his head. “Although we haven’t seen it yet, we could look horrible and awkward.” 

Dan laughed at that. “Most likely it will, but it was fucking hot making it.” 

A few hours later, after a shower and a nap Phil took the memory card and slid it into his laptop. “You ready to watch your first porno?” 

“Thought you didn’t want to call it that?” Dan smirked. He rested his head on Phil’s shoulder as the screen filled with them in the bedroom. 

They watched the whole thing all the way through, silently. They looked at each other when it was over. “So?” Phil said.

“Jesus Phil...that was fucking hot. You are...fucking...jesus...I get to have sex with you?” 

Phil laughed, “I was thinking the same thing about you.” He leaned over and kissed Dan. “Ready to edit this thing?”

“I think we should leave it til tomorrow. I want round two.” Dan smirked. “We’ll edit it, then bring it to the bank tomorrow. 

“Mmm sounds like a good idea.” Phil said, standing up and pulling Dan with him down the hall and into the bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading. It was just a quick one I wrote while working on a longer fic. I only reread once so there could be some mistakes! Try to forgive me if there are. ;P As always kudos and comments are always appreciated!


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